Friday, October 28, 2011

I have a confession to make.

I haven't gone for a run in a month.

It was horrible.  I had a bad day, and I couldn't go more than a few minutes at a time without having to stop and walk for a bit.  It really got inside my head and made me feel horrible about myself.  Not to mention, I was with George who just happened to be training for his half marathon.  I let myself be jealous, embarrassed and started that horrible self defeating cycle that always seems to happen when I start to "fail" at something.

The thing is, I should know better.  I KNOW I'm capable of running.  I don't think I'm ever going to run a full marathon, but I know perfectly well I'm capable of a 5K.  Maybe not at the moment, but I'm not going to get better/faster if I let one bad run defeat me.

I need to remember this.  It doesn't matter if it's a 14 minute mile with walking breaks or a 6 minute mile.  It's still a freaking mile.  Something I wasn't capable of 6 months ago.  I need to stop thinking of all the things I can't do, and focus on everything I've over come already.

I had some health problems in High School, and at my followup my surgeon told me I'd still be able to walk, but never do anything too intense- certainly no long distance running or power squats.  Well, I did squats and lunges last night at the gym, just to remind myself I could.  Now I'm going to go for a run.  Just to remind myself I can.

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