Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Katie gets healthy

I mentioned my attempt at healthy living in my very first post, and then haven't said a thing about it since.  It's something that's become really important to me, and recently been a huge struggle, so this post is probably long overdue.

I've struggled with my weight all of my life.  I was usually the biggest out of my friends, I didn't exercise, and the thought of really participating in sports scared me.  I used to play softball, but seriously, how much exertion does little league require?  I was much happier in the school plays and musicals, pretending to be someone else while forgetting about my own awkwardness.

My senior year of college was my breaking point.  I was miserable in my own skin and hated the person I saw everytime I looked in the mirror.  So I joined Weight Watchers and successfully lost the 34lbs that were making me unhappy.  The problem was, I didn't bother to do it the right way.  I stayed within my points, but I didn't bother paying attention to what I was eating.  My diet consisted of a lot of processed foods and frozen dinners.  I didn't learn anything.  So what happened?  I started gaining it back.  Of course. 

I was so obsessed with the number on the scale that I forgot that skinny isn't always healthy.  There is so much more to being healthy than how much you weight.

At that point, I promised myself that I was going to focus on health, not "skinny".

First off, I quit Weight Watchers.  WW is a fantastic tool, and I know many people that are really successful with that program.  But for me, it was too vague.  I can eat 7 points of junk, or I can eat 7 points of health food, and it still goes into my tracker as 7 points.  There was no accountability for me to use those daily points wisely.  So I decided to use MyFitnessPal to track instead.  That way, I could still keep track of what I was eating, but I could also see the nutritional breakdown, not just a generic point value.

Secondly, I added exercise.  Something that I've always said I wanted to do, but never actually followed through with.  Since April, I've gone from absolutely nothing, to running various 5Ks, one 5 miler, a Warrior Dash, and am working my way through a pretty badass lifting program.

My arms look just like that.  Or not.  But they're getting there.  People always tell you how good exercise makes them feel, but I never believed them.  I have to say it- I was wrong, they were right.

If you've gotten this far, bless you.  I need to get this out and you guys are taking the hit.  This is where those "struggles" I mentioned in my first paragraph are coming in.

Despite eating healthy, exercising, doing this the right way, I'm not losing.  In fact I'm gaining.  A lot. I'm trying not to obsess over numbers, and I'm perfectly OK never being a size 2, but weight loss should be a perk to all this healthy living I'm doing.  And the fact that it's not, is frustrating and concerning.  I've gone to my PCP, a nutritionist, and an endocrinologist- all who've given me a gold star and a pat on the back for my newly developed healthy habits. 

My only ideas at this point is that I need some combination of exercise and diet that I've not yet tried.  It's FRUSTRATING guys.  I bust my butt, and just keep getting further away from that goal.  But I'm going to keep plugging along.  I'm nothing if not stubborn determined.

See?  Determination.  Also, shameless fishing for compliments.

Anyway, thats enough word vomit for today.  Hopefully my next healthy living post will have a better update.

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